No.49: Roman Sonnet ,1986

I arrived a pilgrim in the heart of Rome
Left my headaches back in Britain
Then by a Roman Love bite here I was bitten
If only the Borghese Villa were mine to own
A residential Palace bound by walls within
Paintings on ceilings and fountains so pretty
All enclosed in a modern thriving city
I would close all my gates to shut out the din
But alas! inside a curveless hotel room
My bill has set upon me like a lion from the Coliseum
For a doomed Christian , thumbs down ,you can see'em
How can I make an exit on a witches flying broom ?
Then when I have picked my self up from the floor
I would say Ciao! to the statues and come back for more!

No. 50 : murder , 1987

I murdered a man some time ago
And now , It's time for judgement

A man as ancient as the wind
Banged his hammer twice and said :

'You have killed a man in cold blood
The law does not tolerate this! man
Must not take the life of his fellow!'

He then sentenced me to be hanged
By the neck until I was dead .

No. 51: The Fly , 1989

The fly on the wall it came in for tea
Then left to have supper with me
It heard curses and threats aimed at people you love
And saw a face you let nobody see

It heard you talk of nothing at all
And bang your head against the wall
It saw you remove all your clothes one by one
As the room grew larger and you in comparison small

It flew through my window at eight
No strangers were me and my mate
You stood me up and thought I would remain alone
But no ; I have found me a gossiping date !

No. 52: The Man From Hong Kong, 1989

There was an old man from Hong Kong
Whose P**** was ever so long

He used it for loving
For kicking and shoving

And for fishing and sailing along

No.53: Maltese Daughter , 1989

There was an old woman from Malta
Who had an incredible daughter

Her head it span round
She made a weird sound

And her arm, it grew longer and shorter

No.54: Banana Boat Blues , 1992

I wake up every morning at quarter past five
I feel like I'm dead but I know i'm alive

I came here from overseas to make me some good
I've got me some blisters and a heart turned to wood

Well I'm goin' back where I came from ,got nothin' to lose
The streets are paved with gold but I've got holes in my shoes

Oh I'm sailin' on in the mornin' I got the banana boat blues
Oh I'm sailin' on in the mornin' I got the banana boat blues ...

No.55, The Mean Man , 1989

There once was a man so mean
He hated everybody he'd seen

One day he got bashed on the head
And decided to be kinder instead