No.24: Love, 1990

Francis had a burning desire: To understand love.He had come from a decent family , but parental love had its limitations .After all his parents could only love him as their child,and he he could not be acknowledged as an adult in his own right .Surely this was not love .

At the age of nineteen , Francis met Sally who was pretty and sweet .they fell in love and enjoyed being together constantly .So much did Francis love Sally ,that he feared he would lose her .He became intensely jealous and on rare occasions when Sally was away from his immediate sight ,Francis would fear the worst and often accused Sally of seeing other men, eventhough Sally would not dream of doing such a thing, for she loved only Francis .He often called her a strumpet and a whore , following this up by giving her regular beatings, frequently bruising her ribs and breaking her jaw.

One dark day after hearing that Sally had allowed a man into their home in his absence in order to have the gas meter read, Francis was devastated.In a fit of madness he attempted to strangle Sally .Luckily , Sally fought back bravely this time in order to hang onto life itself, and gasping for air she freed her self from his hold and fled, never to go near Francis again . Surely this was not love ?

At the tender age of twenty seven , Francis made a breakthrough on his quest. He had become acquainted with Marie-Angela , an educated and elegant young lady. They soon fell in love and spent many good times together . Their love was supreme, a total dedication to each other's needs based on a mutual respect for each other's independence . They stopped at nothing to make one an other's happiness.

Francis always remained faithful to their agreed ideals and often when Marie -Angela had made dates with other men , Francis would wait up for her in bed .On her arrival he would be happy , not only because they were reunited again but also due to the fact that she had enjoyed a satisfying night out with another man .

Years of contentment followed ,then one day Marie-Angela announced that she had decided to marry a man named Arthur. Hearing that , Francis was overjoyed and was even given the special honour of being the best man at the wedding .The wedding was a happy affair ,Francis cried tears of joy at seeing Marie-Angela happily married .

Marie-Angela and Arthur lived happily together and soon left the country ,and never saw Francis again. Surely this was not love ?

At thirty six years of age , Francis had overcome the folly of his youth and was mature enough to eventually enter into a lasting wedlock. Martha , his wife proved to be a fine woman and soon bore their first child who they named Martin .

It was that very day in the presence of his son's birth that love revealed itself. On seeing the beauty of the helplessness , innocence and purity of a newborn baby that his own loving expression had produced ,Francis experienced true knowledge of love.

He adored children and in good time Martha gave birth to another four babies .Years of domestic bliss passed by and when Martin had reached the age of twenty one , he revealed to his parents the fact that he was a homosexual.Francis now fifty nine years of age did not take kindly to this. In fact he was outraged. How could his son betray him like this ? what would other people say about Francis for having a homosexual son? His son had committed a grave act of betrayal .Francis seized his son by the collar and bashed Martin's head against the wall with all his might ,swearing at him and calling him a pervert and a filthy bugger.The rest of the family pleaded with Francis to let go and show some compassion, after all ,Martin was a nice a boy and would not wish to hurt a fly .But no , Francis would have none of this , he branded all the family traitors , he disowned them all and deserted them forever .Surely this was not Love?

Francis , now a sixty four year old man was alone at home seated in his armchair when love came and spoke to him :real love had come end entered his life .Seated in his armchair , he became aware of his previous ignorance with the realisation that only universal love mattered , all else was nonsense and illusion.He would love everybody and everything unconditionally and expect nothing in return .He became a true philanthropist and lover of all creation.

Francis gave away most of his belongings , he stopped eating meat and even vegetables , lest he would harm a single living thing.He spent many years spreading universal love by giving ,helping others and generally bestowing love upon all mankind and the entire cosmos .He joined voluntary groups and helped with charities , yes there was no end to the fulfilment he gained by knowing and living within an ocean of pure ,unadulterated love .

One evening ,whilst returning to his home , which was an improvised cardboard hut , as he often did after a hard day's deed of radiating his love in all directions , Francis noticed his reflection in a puddle of rain water . He saw an image of an
elderly , sick , frail , suffering man . He was physically and mentally drained , his own self neglect had caught up with him ;surely this was not love?

Francis , now withered and pale with age and sickness , reached his eighty second year .He was destitute and lived on the streets , literally from hand to mouth .Ironically in this final stage of life's journey , Francis was no longer concerned about anything but his own survival.He had learnt painfully what love was not , and no longer cared to discover what it was .

One day , whilst examining his day's catch of a trodden-on sandwich and a half empty can of warm ,stale beer ,Francis was approached by another vagrant ,who begged him for a sip of the beer . Francis gave him the whole can to keep. Not so much out of pity but because it had tasted to awful .

The following day , the same man slipped a piece of paper into Francis' hand . It was a bank cheque of £7000 000 .This man happened to be an eccentric millionaire .

Life changed again for Francis .He became very popular , especially with the the popular news papers and television stations.His story appeared everywhere. He became instantly recognisable to the general public he wrote his biography, had a chat show on Television and even made several pop records. He had millions of admirers now.He received sacks of fan mail and even letters from Sally , Marie-Angela,Martha and Martin .He was eventually given a medal by the queen and became a 'knight ' with letters after his name, regularly attending the second chamber of British Parliament .

Yes Francis became a celebrity , everybody loved him and he knew it and loved it . He also knew many more things :Even the fact that this was not really love did not bother him..